About Me

Esteban Rafael

I am passionate about critical thinking, education and information technology. For years, I have studied postmodern ideologies with a focus on the Fourth Industrial Revolution and Woke Culture, analyzing their impact on society and faith.

I was born in Maracaibo, Zulia State – Venezuela, in 1980. I studied economics at the University of Zulia and, in my first professional steps, I graduated as a hydrocarbon technician, a tribute to the main natural resource of my country: oil.

Since my youth and until 2015, I was a political activist in defense of freedom, guided by my patriotic right-wing values. This passion for communicating and defending the truth led me to develop skills in technology, photography and audiovisual design. Between 2011 and 2013, I lived in Ireland, where I deepened my skills in Information Technology and Web Design. Since 2014, I have resided in the UK, where I have experienced some of the most challenging and transformative moments of my life.

From crisis to conversion: my journey back to the faith

Despite growing up in a Catholic home and receiving the sacraments of Christian initiation, my faith had become cultural rather than spiritual. I was educated in Dominican Sisters’ schools, but eventually I drifted away from the Church. My father’s death was a breaking point: his departure left me in a state of confusion and emptiness that I tried to fill with the pleasures of the world.

The disordered life I fell into soon took its toll. I sought refuge in lust and prostitution, trying to escape a reality that overwhelmed me. Then, the pandemic arrived to accelerate my downfall. In the midst of uncertainty and isolation, my family reached a point of near total destruction. I found myself trapped in a pit with no way out, wondering how I had gotten there.

The need for answers led me to seek spiritual help. But I did so away from the Catholic Church. England, the country where I reside, is largely Protestant, and I quickly found support in various denominations: Anglicans, Baptists, Adventists and, finally, Presbyterians. In each of these communities I was well received. They offered me materials, Bibles (with only 66 books), studies and accompaniment. I remember how in some churches they required mandatory tithes, while in others they were voluntary. They also had well-organized programs to integrate new members, they remained in constant contact with me by WhatsApp or Facebook and were there in my darkest moments.

All of that gradually convinced me that the truth was there. In my mind, I had almost become a Protestant. My rejection of Catholic tradition intensified: I denied veneration of the Virgin Mary, respect for the Pope and everything I had previously considered part of my religious identity. I got rid of images, crucifixes and any trace of my Catholic faith.

But God had other plans.

The sign that changed everything

The crisis in my family worsened when my wife suffered a strong emotional breakdown. Seeking help for her, I contacted believing psychologists, Protestant and Catholic friends who supported us on a daily basis. In my mind, the solution was clear: she needed to seek conversion and a change of life, while I needed to reconnect with the Trinity… outside the Catholic Church.

To that end, we began attending the Presbyterian church more frequently. She seemed to be adjusting to the Sunday services, and I felt that I was taking more and more steps toward Protestantism. But then something unexpected happened.

My wife asked me to find a Catholic church. It was a recommendation from her psychologist (who was also a Catholic) and, out of simple curiosity, we decided to attend. We went a few times to a parish near our children’s school. But I still wasn’t convinced.

At a crucial moment, I asked my wife a direct question:

“Do you want to be baptized in the Reform Presbyterian Church?”

I was willing to follow her. After all, I had already accepted many Protestant teachings. But her answer was a resounding NO.

That was the breaking point. Her refusal was the signal I needed to see clearly. In that instant, I felt that all my doubts were crumbling and that God was calling me back home.

Suddenly, all the memories of my Catholic upbringing came flooding back. I realized that what I really needed was not just another church to suit my situation, but the true Church that Christ founded. I understood that if I wanted to find peace, I had to seek order, and only the Catholic Church could offer me that.

What I found in the Catholic Church

After all my spiritual journey, I understood that in the Catholic Church were the answers I had been searching for:

• History – The Catholic Church is not just another denomination, but the only one founded by Christ over 2,000 years ago.
• Order – Unlike the doctrinal confusion I experienced in Protestantism, in the Church I found a solid Magisterium and a well-founded faith.
• Faith – I returned to the encounter with Christ, not according to personal interpretations, but within the Mystical Body of the Church.
• Tradition – I understood the importance of apostolic teaching and the veneration of the Virgin Mary, whom I had previously rejected.
• Union – I no longer felt alone or divided doctrinally, but in communion with the Universal Church.

More than four years have passed since then. It has been a hard process and it is still going on. I had to study the Bible, Church history and catechesis from scratch. I also prepared myself for the attacks and doubts that inevitably arise when error is left behind.

The greatest miracle of all this is that, after having disowned her, I was reconciled with my Mother. In the end, it was the Virgin Mary who took me by the hand and guided me back to the Father’s house.

Today, with joy and gratitude, I can say:

I am in home.

If you have come this far, it is because my story and my content resonate with you.

Welcome!

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